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Show 262 RICHARD 11 UHDIS. reflection that he had been the murderer of one unoffcnding person, and the cruel destroyer of nnot~ICr's c~carcst l10pcs. So long as he was himself safe, these consJCleratwns were of small importance. And, yet Jet us n~t suppose that tlJCy did not trouble ]tim. lie had not slept m peace from the moment that he despatched Pickett on his Lloody mis:; ion . lie wa.s doomed llC\'Cr to sleep in jJCacc ngain-no, nor to wake m ycacc. }...,onns of threatening followed his footsteps by day, and 1mnges of terror lwuntcd his dreams by uight. He might escape from lwman justice, but l1C soon felt lww idle wt1s any hope to escape from that worst }Jrescncc of all -the constant consciousness of crime. But I must not forget my own trou1lcs in surveying tlJOsc of J ohn I-Iunl is. Of his woes I had no thought at this tr.oment. l\Iy only thought wns of thnt f'e:nful interview with En:meline. 'Vhat would I not have giYen could I have escaped tt. But such wishes were foolish enough. I l1ad undertaken the tnsk, regarding it ns a so lemn duty, as well to the dead as to the Jiving, and, sooner or la ter, tl1e task wns to be executed. Delay was proof of wenkness; and that afternoon _I set out _for tl1e 1JOuse of the poor maiden, widowed ere a wtfc. Durmg tho solitary ride, l thought in vain of tl1c words ..,dJich I should use in telling l1 er the story. llow should I break itf; abruptnesslww soften the severity of the stroke. The more I thougl1t of this-as is most usually the cnsc in such matters with most persons- the more difficult and impracticable did the labor seem anti, but for the sltamc of such a movement, I could have turned l11Y bridle, and trusted to a letter to Uo that, which I felt it impossiLlc thut my lips should do well. 1 had seen prcn~hcrs, otherwise sngacious enouglt, undertake to console the nflhcted, by trite maxims, which taught them-strangely enou~h-to forbear grief for tlte Ycry reason which mnkcs them gnc'f·cII D.lllely, Lecnuse tlwir loss is ineJHlraLie. "Your te~rs tll'C vain," says the bookman. "Therefore I weeiJ," rcp!Jes the man. llow to ::woid such wanton folly was the question '\:ith me, yet it was u question not so easy to nnswer. 'l'ltc m_md runs upon common11laces in tlte matter of human consoln.tton, and we prate of resignation to the end of the clwpter to those who never hear us. This, of course, assumes the grief to be 'I' IJE BROKEN II EAI:'r, 263 sincere. There is a conventional sort of so rrow which is relieved by conventional language; and t ho heir finds obedience to the will of Providence a very natural lesson. But the Io,·c of Emmeline 'V nlker seemed to me a thing all earnestness. I ltad seen enough of her to know tktt she could freely have risked l ife for 'Villiam Carri ngton-to te ll her tlwt no risk of lifo could save ltim now, I felt convinced would almost be at the peril of hers. Yet the irksome labor must Le taken-the risk mnst be met. I had that so rt of pride which always seut me forward when tltc tri:1l appeared a great one; and the very extremity of the necessity, awakened in me an in tensity of feeling, which enabled me to effect my ohject. And I did effect it-JJow, it will be seen l1 ereafter. Enough, that I shared deeply ju the suffering I was unavoidably compelled to inflict. It was quite dark when I reached her dwelling. ]\[y Jlrogress toward it lwC:. been slow, yet I felt it too fast for my feelings. I entered the house with the desperate ltaste of one who distrusts l1is own resolutiou, and leaps forward in order that it may not lea,·e him. Uy task was increased in d~fficulty by the manner in which Emmeline met me. 'l'he happy heart, confident in its hope, shone out in her kindling eye, and in the buoyant tones of her voice. ".Ah, 1\Ir. llm·dis, back so soon! I did not look for you for a whole month. 'Vhat brought you- but why do I ask, when I can guess so readily 1 Have you seen l\Iary yet 1" \Vhile she spoke, IJCr eyes peered behind me as if seeking for another; and the pleasant :nul arch smile which accompanied her words, was mirigled with a look of fondest exp ectation. I could not answer her-I could 110t look upon her when I beheld this glance. I went forward to a chair, and sank down within it. She arose and came llllrriedly toward me. ." Wl1at is the matter-arc you sick, l\lr. llurdis 1" And, though approaching me, l1er eyes reverted to the entrance as if still seeking another. Involuntarily, I shook my head ns if in denial. She saw the mo,'ement and seemed to comprehend it. Quick as lightn ing, she demanded- "You come alone 1-Whore's ""\Yilliam-wherc's Mr. Carrington 1" |
