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Show 16 BICfTAilD IIUHDH:i. did not interfere in my own plans to follow up tltcirs; but my own desire ·was simply to strC'Iclt my limbs in freedom, to trrwerso the llrair ics, to penetrate tlJC swamps, to behold tlte climbillg hills and lovely !JOllows of the Choctaw lands, and luxuriate in the eternal solitudes of their spacious forests. 'l~o feel my freedom was now my hOJJC. I lwcl been f('ltCJ·cd lm1g cnouglt. But do not think me wanting in nnturnl affection to my parents : far from it. I cflCctcd no sm:dl nchicvcmcnt wlwn I first t·csolved to leave my motl1cr. It was no 11a in to leave my t;tthcr. lie was a man, a strorig 0110 too, ~mel could do wcii C'nough without me. llnt, without SJlO iling me, my mother,. of nll her children, had made me most a favorite. I was lu:r Rtclt~ orcl always. She considrred me first, though I had nn elder brother, and spoke of me in }Jtlrticulnr w11cn spe:tking of l1er sons, and rcfCrrcd to me for counsel in preference to all the rest. 'l'lds may have been because I was soon found to be the most decisive of all my brothers; and folks did me tl1e further cour~ tPsy to say, the most t]Jouglttfu1. too. My elder brother, Jolm lim·dis, was too fond of eating to be an adventurous man, and too slow and unrc:tdy to be a performing one. tV e often quar~ relied, too; and this, perhaps, was anotlJcr reason wl1y I should desire to leave a place from which he was quite too lazy ever to depart. llad he been bold enough to go forth, I might not kwe been so ready to do so, for there were motives and tics to keep me at home, which slwll have clevclollmcut as I. proceed. .My father, tlwugh a phlegmatic :nul proud man, showed much more emotion at the declaration of my resolve to leave l1im, than I had ever expected. llis emotion m·ose, not so mucll from the love he bore mr, as fi·mn the loss which l1e was about to sustain by my departure. I had been l1is best negro, nnd he confCssed it. Night and day, without complaint, my time had been almost entirely devoted to his service, and his crol)S lual never been half so good as when l had directed the labor of his force, and regulated his resources. J\fy brother Jolm had virtually given up to me tiJC entire ma1wgemcnt, and my father was too well satisfied with the fruits of tl1c change to make any objection. My resolution to lcaYe l1im now, once more threw the business of the plantation upon John; aml Lis incompetence, the result of his inertness and obesity, mtiJCr A TllUANT DISPOSITION. 17 th~.n of nny deficiency of mind, was sorely apprehended by the old man. I felt this to be the strongest argument against my dcput.urc. But wns I always to be the slave I l1ad been 1 'Vas I always to wRtch peas and potatoes, corn and cotton, witlwut even the poor satisfaction of choosing the spot where it would please me best to watch them 1 'l'his reOection strength~ ened me in my resolves, and answered my father. In answer to tiJC e:cpostulation of 1ny mother, I made a promise, which in })art comoled her. "I wiH go but for a few months, mother-fOr the winter only; you will sec me back in spring; and tl1en, if father and myself c:m come to anything like terms, I will stay and super~ intcllCl for l1itn, as I have done befOre." "Terms, H.iclwrd !" were the old lady 's words in reilly; ' 1 whnt terms would you lwve, my SOil, tl1at l1c will not agree to, so that tl1ey be in reason 1 lie will give you one fifth - ! will answel' for it, H.ichard-:md tl1at ougl1t to be quite enough to satisfy :tJJY one." ".More than enough, mother; more than I nsk or expect. Dut I can 11ot now ngree even to that. I must sec the world a while; travel about; nncl if, at the end of the winter, I sec no oettcr plncc-uo place, I mean, whiclt I could better like to live in-why then I will come back, as I tcH you, and go to work ns usunl." rl'hcrc was some little indignation in the old lady's answer: "Better place! like Letter to live in! "\V hy, Richard, what has come over you 1 Arc not the place you were born in, and the l)arents who bred you, and the people whom you J1ave lived with all your life-arc they not good enough for you, that you must come to me :tt tl1is time of day, and talk nbout better ])laces, mal all suclt st u0'1 Re;tl ly, my son, you forget yomself to s11eak in this mnunrr. As if everything was not good enough for you It ere!" '' 0 ood enough, mother; I answered gloomily; "good enough; ])CrhallS-I deny il not; nml yet not exactly to my liking. I :un uot pleased to waste my life as I do nt present. I am not satisfied that I do myself justice. I feel a want in my mind, and an impatience at my heart; a tl1irst which I can not ex~ plain to you, and which, wlJile here, I can not quench. I must |