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Show THE FAIR APOSTATE CONTINUED. 337 Selves that there had only been slight errors ; that in the main the faith was correct, and they would receive their reward. But such self- deception was not long possible. Chiefamong these sorrowing and doubting ones was Elder John Banks. He had early embraced the faith in England. He, too, had been a Chartist leader, and thought he " had found true liberty and brotherhood in Mormonism. And now a strange friendship sprang up between the disappointed man and the doubting lad. They walked and talked together; their Sundays and leisure hours they spent in sad but pleasant communion over their troubles, or in renewed study of the " evidences" they had once thought so convincing as to the divine origin of Mormonism. As might be expected, the younger was the first to free himself. Let what might be true, he knew in. his heart that Brigham was not sent of God. The Mormon faith he could not reject entirely, but compro-mised on the idea that a true prophet was yet to arise ; that a terrible mistake had in some way been made, and that in due time God would remember His people. But the elder could not then begin a new life; his heart was bound up in Mormonism, for which he had toiled so long, and he urged his young friend to go with him and lay their troubles before- President Young. Brigham received them with that paternal kindness he exercises towards all who may yet be saved to the church ; he doled out the usual commonplaces about " faithful-ness," " obedience," " live your religion," and " pay your tithing." But it brought no healing to these sore minds. Thomas James was already " apostate in spirit," and there was more in the sad heart of John Banks than he could put in words to Brigham Young. The friends visited the Briarlys, and there saw the young Gentile, now slowly convalescing. The younger looked on him and thought of the great gulf that separated them. Here was a lad but few years younger than himself, but with none of his heart- racking doubts and fears. What was there in the nature of things which made him a prey to conflicting emotions to which this one was a stranger? Some-times he hoped Mormonism was all a delusion, but dreaded lest it might be true ; again he labored to prove to himself that it was true, and still feared that his hope was vain ; but whether he hoped or feared, he somehow felt a strange envy of his new acquaintance, who, though now an invalid, was at any rate neither a dupe nor a traitor to his faith. The whole family soon took a strange interest in the young Babylonian, whom fate had brought to their door. He could now sit up and talk, and his talk was such a strange contrast to theirs. Secretly they felt guilty for taking so much enjoyment in it, and yet his light- 22 |
