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Show COLLEGIATE LIFE <br><br> OUR DUTY. <br> Not the daily toil of heads and hands; <br> Not the gain derived from false conceit and empty pride; <br> Not the emulation achieved that worldly power demands; <br> Not the darkening mesmerism of the tyrants' stride, <br> Is our duty. <br> But daily standing in the light of advancement, <br> A tower of strength in education and achievement; <br> The guide to truth and love and and [sic] contentment <br> The true road to happiness and enlightenment- <br> This is our duty. <br><br> CONCERNING SENIORS. <br> By R. Braffet. <br> So the seniors are still looking wise, are they?-well, that's about as far as they can go toward being wise or showing their great wisdom. Oh, brush my eyebrows ‘till I get up steam and courage enough to tell you of what they have done in the past and are doing at the present time! <br> Those guys prance around the school like they owned it, or had a monopoly on the biggest part of it-thank you, if you hadn't caught me, I believe I should have fainted. Of all the disgusting things those dubs perform-isn't it enough to make a hen gnash her teeth? Seniors! and to think of how they call the freshmen "the poor little things of forbidden ripeness." It's fierce! <br> I happened to be in a restaurant the other night, and some of the things those seniors had the crust to eat, and the way they talked has given me dyspepsia-I have been afraid to eat anything for the last two weeks. <br> They ate everything from preserved camel hair to crabapple soup, after they had consumed this mixture they proceeded to shake their teak-wood heads and ordered caviar pie with typewriter-ribbon-salad on the side. While they were eating this conglomeration they occasionally referred to the freshmen as the "green element of the school! <br> One of them said that his "coinciding bicuspidor" tooth had a cavity in it, while another said that he was going to get his shoes half-soled with a tenderloin steak, explaining that "it would wear longer than the leather one gets at most shoe shops." Isn't that the limit? <br> If you try to tell them anything, they argue the topic with geometry and quote Tacitus to the contrary; then then [sic] they offer to buy you a bottle of fresh milk as a possible cure for your particular form of insanity. They tell you of the days when they were green and that you might overcome greenness by listening to the advice of the seniors. <br> They inform you that you ought to wear oxfords during the winter months, so that you won't take cold when you take off your shoes at night, argue this by geometry, quote a few lines from Tyraeus, tell you that you ought to know it to be true, and quote another Greek for good measure. <br> They explain that you can avoid consumption if you smoke all the cigarettes you can (the cigarettes should be of Turkish blend because that blend is mild and has more glycerine than most others) and are always careful to eat stewed carrots for breakfast. They have several other cures, but I have not heard of them all yet, although I do remember of a few more such as washing your face with kerosene to cure moles and relieve you of black heads. <br> This from the "wise seniors" who have studied everything and know everything worth knowing and a little more besides. They even know how to go to sleep and dream of pleasant things instead of having a solo of night mare test-thoughts. <br><br> |
