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Show COLLEGIATE LIFE <br><br> GIMLET PAGE <br> Published Especially for Our Friends the Critics. <br> Salt Lake City, Utah, March 7, 1911. <br><br> Editor of Collegiate Life, <br> Dear Sir: The last two issues of your paper have disgusted me. That mangled sheet which you take great pleasure in calling "Life" is the loudest attempt at a school-paper I ever hope to see. <br> If your staff can't get anything better than perpetual motion on the subject of "DUES" you had better fire them-you yourself are one of the greatest long-legged, drawn out, spliced together specimens of an editor, that ever brought out a low-down sheet like you do. <br> Your "Business Manager" couldn't run a baby carriage by the looks of his ads. As for your school-notes-say, did the school editor throw an alphabet against that teak-wood cranium of yours? Oh! what notes-gee! what a "not." <br> Hoping I will be able to read your March issue without a headache, I am, <br> Very truly yours, <br> Q. E. D. <br> P. S.-Fire that "Athletic Editor." <br> The above was received by us the other day and we are in no position at the present time to effectively answer this libelous complaint for several reasons; first, because undertakers' dues are too high and we are in debt already; second, we have only got two base ball bats and the council cannot afford to buy others at the present time because Q. E. D. and several accomplices have not paid their dues; third: because it amuses us to receive such letters and we do not wish to stop their source. <br><br> Dear Sir: I write this to inform you that your paper is decidedly lacking in one respect, that is, you do not pay the attention to the numerous social events of your school. You didn't even notice that I wore my new dress to the party the other night, that was worth half a page any way. Don't let me catch you in such an oversight again, <br> And oblige, <br> The C. I. 400. <br><br> We merely desire to suggest this amendment to the Constitution of the Students' Ass.: All members of the C. I. 400 must appear in low-necked dresses and hobble-skirts placarded with large letters showing their order. To be pinned on their back. <br><br> OFFICIAL SCHOOL JEWELERS <br> We make school pins and class pins just as you want them made. <br> Draw designs to your order and make them up in our factory on the premises. <br> 50c to $5.00. BRONZE, SILVER and GOLD. <br> BOYD PARK, Inc. [Park's logo is inserted here, and is read as follows: Established 1862 Park's JEWELRY STORE. 170 MAIN ST] 170 MAIN STREET <br><br> |
