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Show A NIGHT OF KEEN ANGUISH 11 February 22, 1856-Nealy was taken sick in the morning, complained of sore mouth, headache, had several diarrhea passages during the day and threw up phlegm twice or thrice, breath smelt very bad of canker. Doctored at once for the canker and also gave him some Saffron and sage tea. Next day continued very sick and showed some rash, fever very high. Towards night I bathed him all over with Salerates water and the rash or measles came out very full, so I continued to give him Saffron tea and sage. He was very sick and took a turn on Tuesday (26th) for the better and that evening my dear little Sarepta came down with the same rash but appeared to have no canker. Having four nights watching with Nealy and he on the gain I relaxed my efforts in sitting up at night, not thinking that there was any particular danger in my dear little girl's case until she was sick one week-March 4th. Then I began to realize her real state which was dangerous to say the least. I called on Bro. Bryan to see her and he gave his opinion that canker was in her stomach and the rash had turned in and desired me to give her the canker medicine and to try to get the rash out. He would not allow that it was measles. I did my best by bathing her in Salerates water, gave her Saffron tea to drink but it seemed to strike it in the more. She seemed to be some better which made my heart glad but in about two days she relapsed again and with the change sorrow again filled my heart. I went to Sister Bently's for lobelia as I realized the chief difficulty lay in her breathing and not in canker 116 A NIGHT OF KEEN ANGUISH but having given her canker medicine that had blue Vitriol in it it was not wise to give her the Lobelia. I gave her Caster Oil and annointed her plentifully with consecrated oil and gave her some inwardly. On Wednesday the 12th of March I first gave her the Lobelia in doses of tincture. It was several hours in her system without operating. I gave her rhubarb to work it off which she did and passed some phlegm and at this time I had discovered the hard phlegm stuck to her mouth and was more convinced that the difficulty lay in her chest. She again took a turn for the better after this first administered Lobelia and my spirits again revived. She seemed easier Thursday night when I went to bed and being very much exhausted I fell into a heavy slumber and woke up by her calling to me and when I had come to myself I found her in very great distress with her breathing. I had some onions and I put them under her arms and oiled her well. Went after Sister Bigler that she might assist me in putting her feet in water. It was two o'clock when she came in and we bathed her feet which seemed to ease her breathing a little but until daylight she appeared to be dying but between six and seven she revived again which comforted me much. As I had had a night of keen anguish my hopes revived much during the day, although she was quite feeble and low. Louisa Barber watched that night and encouraged to hope which continued till next night when I had again to weep over her as dying. Adeline was with me who had a hard time of it. She was so restless and suffering I determined that if she lived till I could give her a regular lobelia emmetic I would try it (knowing that she could not live without having the phlegm removed). About twelve o'clock I gave her the emmetic which opperated well in her system but about four o'clock she had the appearance of dying and I again gave her up. Oh, my poor heart, how it was wrung with anguish but again she revived and called "Mamma" which word once more heard made me crazy with joy which continued till she was really death struck and the only thing to desire or hope for was to have her Father come in time to see her once again and he did arrive on Tuesday, 18th, about six o'clock in the evening. She had been dying all day and the night before and when he came she stretched her little arms to him and called Papa and all that night would call to sit on Papa's lap. She died next morning about eight o'clock, being sensible to the last breath she could draw and [when she] ceased to breath the bad smell ceased. I washed her little body myself on my lap and dressed her in her own clothes and the last sewing I did for her was to make her a pair of shoes of white cloth. 117 MARTHA SPENCE HEYWOOD Oh, my dear little Sarepta Marie my joy and my comfort by day and by night. Your precious voice that so often cheered my heart to its inmost recesses by its singing and interesting prattle, had gone from my sight. And I fully realized the goodness of the Lord by his providence to permit her Father to see her before she ceased to live in this present state of existence and that I was permitted to have his company during the funeral rites. After retiring that night with my husband and my little boy I felt dreadful lonesome and anticipating how much worse it would be after [I] would lose sight of the little that remained of her. I asked my husband if it were possible if I could accompany him on his journey to the city as he was obliged to start after the burial. He thought he could work it so that I could, so I put a few things together in a hurry in the morning and started leaving the house and all belonging to it in the care of Sister Vickers and then started with our dear little girl's remains, to bury her out of our sight. It was the first time I had ever been to the burial ground of Nephi.1 We had the gratification of the presence of Brother Erastus Snow whose remarks of the subject of death seemed more lucid than I had ever heard at a previous funeral occasion. He drew such a plain comparison between the child being born into this world giving joy and satisfaction to its parents and friends, so in the spirit leaving its former abode and companions there was regret in departure. So in like manner when a spirit leaves us we sorrow at its departure but they rejoice. His remarks were very comforting and in his prayer there was a power of intelligence that interested me much. We forenooned at the 12 miles Springs. There was in the company Erastus Snow, Levi Hancock and Bishop Charles Hancock, Jackson Stewart,2 my husband, self and little boy. We ate our biscuit and butter with thankfulness and proceeded on our journey and arrived in Petit Neat at sundown. The conversation was instructing and interesting. Levi Hancock3 told his dream which he had the night before and it was this wise: He was in company with 1 No comment can enhance the plain, heartfelt eloquence of Martha's own writing. 2 Andrew Jackson Stewart had been with William Huntington in 1854 on the Elk Mountain Mission (near Moab) when they had to take their wagons apart and lower them over the cliff piece by piece. See [Dale L. Morgan], Utah: A Guide to the State (New York: Hastings House, 1954), p. 424. 3 Levi W. Hancock was one of the first seventies ordained by Joseph Smith in 1835 and soon became one of the first seven presidents of seventies, a position he held until his death in 1882. He was chaplain with the Mormon Battalion, an early settler at Manti, and a delegate to the legislative assembly. See Jenson, LDS Biographical Encyclopedia, 1:188-89. 118 A NIGHT OF KEEN ANGUISH Joseph Smith where there was a large assemblage of persons and Joseph Smith handed around to the company some liquor that looked like wine and some refused but when offered to him he at once took it and it was the most delicious exhilerating beverage, running through his system with avidity causing the most pleasurable feelings that could be imagined and [he] saw Joseph turn round and reprove those who refused and say, "It was always so with them, they would always refuse what he would give them and they were all rottenness and there was nothing in them." The agreeable company and good conversation was calculated to draw me off my sorrowful feelings. We put up to David Lebanon and next morning ate breakfast to Bishop Hancock's4 and resumed our journey and got into Provo in good season and put up to Bro. Redfield's.5 I felt very poorly and had to lay down at once. Next morning we started with Brother Bullock and two sisters Bullock and arrived at Cottonwood between eight and nine o'clock at night and had some difficulty in finding a stopping place. We had a rest to Bro. Harrington's where we took up Bro. Snow and had a most desirable time in conversation." We finally made out to stay to a Bro. Cox's humble roof-there were six of us.7 Next day, being Sabbath, there was notice (tho very short) to have preaching by the missionaries. I attended meeting and tho very poorly I enjoyed the spirit of the preaching and was stuck by the similar style of ideas and language in Erastus Snow and Brigham. After meeting by invitation we refreshed ourselves to Silas Richards' house and started immediately after to continue our journey.8 Cottonwood settlement appeared to be in a flourishing condition and for size seemed the best started settlement as to compactness and good buildings that I have seen as yet. Arrived about six o'clock in the evening to my husband's house in the city with my heart and in the reflections of my recent loss and my health so poorly. The family appeared to be all enjoying good 4 Charles B. Hancock, an early settler on Peteetneet Creek (Payson), was bishop of the settlement. See Huff, Memories that Live, p. 434. 5 Harlow Redfield was one of Provo's first aldermen. Ibid., p. 62. 6 Leonard E. Harrington was the first bishop and postmaster of American Fork. He also served in the territorial legislature and the Nauvoo Legion. See Jenson, LDS Biographical Encyclopedia, 3:799-800. ' This could have been either John Cox, a. counselor in the Little Cottonwood (Union) bishopric, or Jehu Cox, a settler who gave ten acres of his farmland for the fort site. See Kirkham and Lundstrom, Tales of a Triumphant People, pp. 263-67. 8 Silas Richards, first bishop of the Little Cottonwood settlement, was also its first teacher and postmaster. He introduced peaches and grapes to the area from Dixie. Ibid. 119 MARTHA SPENCE HEYWOOD health and the meeting was rather a sad one. I felt a chord of sympathy vibrate in the bosom of Sister Vary that was a testimony of better feelings towards me. March 30, 1856-Sunday-Mr. H. started this morning on a preaching excursion as also to try to get some bread stuff as far north as Ogden taking his wife Mary and Archy her brother.9 I attended meeting in the forenoon and heard preaching from a young son of Erin's Isle of the name of Patrick Lynch, giving a sketch of his bringing up which was in the bosom of the church of Rome. I enjoyed his remarks with a zest that was truly agreeable and all seemed to enjoy them very much. His bursts of witticisms caused much laughter. In the afternoon I again attended the meeting tho very feeble. I was impressed that Bro. Brigham would preach and I was not disappointed and subjects of his remarks were of thrilling interest to me and I remarked to Sarepta as we left the house that my feelings were that I could not have missed hearing that sermon for all I had ever heard before. The subject of equality was splendidly handled by him as also that of love or the social affections. I was fairly drunk with enjoyment and the consciousness that I would have the pleasure of perusing it after publication is truly gratifying. April 6th, 1856-Sunday-Conference commenced this morning in the Bowery which was comfortably fixed up for the accommodation [of a] very large concourse of people. The crowd was so dense and crowding so great that I was obliged to give up and return home and was not able to attend any more of the meetings during Conference. April 13th-Sunday-Spent an afternoon to Sister Hiram Kimball's10 in company with my Lord and his wife Sarepta; also Sisters Eliza Snow and Whitney. Joseph enjoyed himself well but is very slim. Next day visited to Bro. Merrill's all the family, not excepting the children.11 Next day visited to Bro. Stout's with Joseph and Sarepta.12 " According to family genealogical records, Mary Bell received her endowments on March 31, 1854, and was sealed to Joseph on October 31, 1855. Their first child was not born until January 1858. In the meantime, they had adopted an Indian boy named Omer Badigee, born 1847. 10 Hiram S. Kimball, a pioneer of 1850, was one of two missionaries to the Sandwich (Hawaiian) Islands in 1863 who were killed when the boiler of their steamer exploded. See Jenson, LDS Biographical Encyclopedia, 2:372. 11 Which of several Merrills this might have been is not apparent from the text. 22 The visit to Hosea Stout may have been as much business as pleasure. Heywood was preparing to leave for Washington, and on April 17, 1856, he gave Stout a certificate of appointment as U.S. deputy marshal. Stout said he 120 A NIGHT OF KEEN ANGUISH April 20th-Sunday-I realize that my health is improving some but did not attempt to go out of the house to meeting on account of the stormy weather. The rain that we are having seems to be present comfort if not salvation. Spent the day in assisting to make ready things for my husband's journey. As my health improves so does my mind gather strength. On Friday we three wives went through the ordinance of being sealed to our head or husband in the house of the Lord.13 In the morning previous I had an errand to Sister Presinda Kimball and being very weak in body I asked if she felt like giving me a blessing which she did with alacrity, the substance of which was very comforting to me.14 The run of it was that the Lord knew the integrity of my heart and that I would not do anything contrary to His will if I knew it; that he had his eye upon me for good and that the trials that I was passing through were for my good; that my boy would live to be a comfort and staff to old age and that the Lord would make all right with me in due season and I should have my true mate who would sympathize with my afflictions, etc. etc. During the ceremony of the sealing I was struck with the fact that the first wife was not called upon to give away the other wives to her husband, but was asked if she was willing that he should take so and so to be his wife. April 22nd.-Tuesday-Joseph seemed decidedly better yesterday and this morning than since we returned from Nephi. He started about nine o'clock in good spirits for the states in company with many of the twelve and other Elders on their various missions.15 did not intend to act in that office but would have charge of it during Heywood's absence "more to prevent abuse and extravagance than any thing else." See Brooks, On the Mormon Frontier, 2:595-96. 13 This was the third ceremony Martha had been through. She was married in January 1851 and received her endowments three months later. 11 Prescindia Huntington Kimball was a sister of Indian interpreter Dimick B. Huntington. A midwife, she was described as being "stately, gracious, and proportioned on heroic lines. She was a tower of strength in a sick room, and her very presence inspired courage and faith." See Carter, Our Pioneer Heritage, 10:391-92. "Heywood would be gone for eleven months. The travelers were met by cold, wet weather, including severe blizzards in Wyoming. Heywood reached Washington on June 23. Little is known of his business there except that he probably had some official matters to discuss in his capacity as a U. S. marshal, and he planned to promote statehood. He was removed from office in August 1856 "seemingly because of a discrepancy in his financial accounts." The marshal's office was in debt $116,845.59 for expenses the government had refused to pay Congress eventually authorized payment of Heywood's accounts in 1873. For a brief sketch of Heywood's activities as marshal see Vernal A. Brown, The United States Marshals in Utah Territory to 1896" (M.S. thesis, Utah State University 1970), pp. 11-25. Heywood's trip to Washington was also noted by Hosea Stout. See Brooks, On the Mormon Frontier, 2:596, 624. 121 MARTHA SPENCE HEYWOOD April 27, 1856-Sunday-During the last week my health has been decidedly better and with this fact I realize an improvement in my mind and I have gained some towards a peaceful state of mind and hope to increase. This forenoon attended meeting and heard Bro. Barnard Snow whom Brother Brigham called to the preached his first sermon to the congregation and was very interesting and profitable. Obedience was the subject. And after his remarks Brigham followed him in the same channel but on an enlarged scale. Before he spoke, supposing that he would, I prayed my Heavenly Father that I might get instruction that would suit my particular circumstances and I did feel that I did and had the very thing pointed out that I needed. And I prayed my Heavenly Father that I may receive it in honesty and that it may [make] an impression on my mind and more especially the principle that a woman be she ever so smart, she cannot know more than her husband if he magnifies his Priesthood. That God never in any age of the world endowed woman with knowledge above the man and when a woman has in any instance a message from God to man 'tis because of the Priesthood. 16 This afternoon heard Bro. Lewis give a description of his mission to the islands of the sea which to me was very interesting. This morning I awoke remembering this much of a dream. I was somewhere where I had lived and was as it were remodeling the house and premises. There was a back house the woodwork of which seemed to be removed and I was mixing up the manure and dirt together, having it in my mind that it was to mix through the soil for the benefit of vegetation. I saw a neighbor's soil on his lot that looked most thrifty and I thought within myself how thrifty it was-there was grass growing on it and broken off at the edge of the lot which enabled me to see the soil. My brother Robert stood on the opposite side of the lot. Then I saw a part of a vine that looked some like a hop vine and it appeared as if it had made its way to my premises from that of another person's premises and I took hold of it and found two tendrils and had twined together and when I examined towards the root or where it started from, found that the stalk of the tendrils had formerly been injured and had the appearance of old rope and this appearance was about an inch in length 10 This doctrine was hard for Martha to remember, since in many things she did know more than her husband. 122 A NIGHT OF KEEN ANGUISH and I noticed how the tendrils had grown so thrifty, the sap or life passing through the seemingly diseased part. In drawing the tendril along they had to pass, as it were, over two walls before they came to the window of my house and these two formed a little enclosure which appeared like a waste place and where the vine was growing appeared to be premises belonging to Sister Davis. I also thought that the vines when nailed on the house would make a handsome shade to my window. A few nights ago I dreamed that I was in a road or place very familiar to me in my childhood days and I wished to go to a place a little further on named Ball's bridge but could not go. 123 |
