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Show I FORTY YEARS AMONG THE INDIANS. 347 During the summer of 1884 mY mind often rested on Mexico, and the obligation I felt resting upon me not to give up my mission in that country. I tried to rid my mind of these reflections but could not. I remembered that I had agreed with Brother Brig-ham and George A. Smith to stick to the mission so long as I lived; I remembered that Brother Smith talked to me about this mission, even after we had to shake him every few minutes to keep him awake, so that he would breathe by force of will. I was with him daily just before his death. Once he said to me that he would like to live to help in the Mexican mission. Brother Brigham's letter directing me to go on to one of the spots where Israel would sooner or later gather, etc., would come to my mind. Again, I remem-bered that Brother Brigham had told me that during my mission there would be times when I would seemingly be surrounded with a high, strong stone wall, and in which there would appear no opening. " But," said he, " don't kick at it for you will only make your toes sore. Be faithful and in time it will be removed." It now occurred to me that I had forgotten the counsel not to kick, for I had been kicking at this very wall, and had got my toes terribly broken. I made up my mind to try and quit. Finally the spirit and desire became so strong to visit Mexico that I could not resist the feeling. My children needed what we had left for their support, so I made up my mind that I would go if I had to make the trip on foot. At this time the land committee was work-ing in Mexico. I often met some of them, but all seemed to avoid receiving any information from me. This was not at all strange for I knew that I was looked upon as rebellious, as my side of the story had never been heard. |
