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Show Page 175 went all squishy. At last he raised his head and I leaned shamelessly against him. How comfortable and safe it felt within the circle of his arms. Yet also how intoxicating. My head swirled. "I do not wish to marry before I gain my freedom," John whispered next my ear. "It is asking much of you, Sarah, but will you give me your promise? Will you wed with me two years hence when I am a free man living upon my own land?" For a moment the stars shone brighter in the heavens. Then I could not catch my breath. I felt a great weight upon my chest and feared I was suffocating. My heart was no longer going pitter-pat, but was galloping as a wild thing. My stomach clenched and bile crept into my throat. I could not have felt worse had I seen him commit a murder. And I knew not why. I pushed myself away from him. When at last I had regained my breath, I laid my hand upon his cheek. "I cannot marry you," I whispered hoarsely, knowing it to be true. "What is your reason?" he asked, pressing my hand against his face. I shook my head. "I cannot say," I answered. And indeed I could not, for I did not know. I knew only that something within me turned cold when I thought of being his wife. Something drew back and I was afraid. "Is it that you do not love me?" he asked, his pain reaching out to me in the darkness. |