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Show 160 see later that he might have been giving adult consideration to the consequences of his loss of job which would surely follow if we ran off and got married-I had thought in Fillmore, the Millard County seat, and of his ability to keep a wife. But there was no romance in such thoughts and hesitations, so I knew instantly I would never marry Ershel. We proceeded toward the ranch and my announcement to Uncle Will and Eldon produced deep gloom, matching mine and Ershel's and we ate a tasteless supper in utter silence. Nobody offered me any advice, or preached to me, but gradually I came to see that I had acted precipitately. I thought of my brothers and sisters, Macel and Revo trying to cope with the heavy work, and of little Harold, still weak from his sickness. I thought of my leaving the rest of the cast in the lurch on the eve of the drama, and how I wouldn't get to take the part. Maybe I thought most about that. I thought about Mama, lying near death in the Richfield hospital. The doctor, who knew her proclivity to bleeding, had kept her in the hospital for a month, vainly trying to build up her strength, which kept slipping farther away from loss of blood. He sent for fibrinogen to clot her blood, but it didn't come. Finally, afraid to operate, but more afraid to put it off longer, he had made the incision. Dr. Steiner administered the ether. It was a slaughter. Blood spurted nearly to the ceiling when the arteries were cut and the clamps would not hold them. Halfway |