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Show •153 "Well, we had different mothers," I said. "That's something to remember." He nodded. A cloud lower and darker than the rest had seemed to falter and stop on top of us; fat drops drummed on the roof of Adam's car, made rivers down the windshield. On this sunnier day I untied the top of Morgan's bathing suit and fondled her breasts in a melancholy way; what use are love or lust if we're going to be dead as doornails sometime? I buried my head in her shoulder and tried to cheer myself up. Could Nature be a consolation? Maybe, if we can find the right place. I catalogued landscapes tentatively: flat yellow deserts, river valleys paved with grass and flowers, redwood and ponderosa and white fir forests, lakes like the dark blue eyes of the planet, Illinois farmlands, rocky coasts and their heaving oceans, finally those^ islands of paradise where to experience Nature is plenty and no man needs to build pyramids or write books or even fuck, except for the pure pleasure. However they all stank of death to me. "I'll tell you a secret," I said to Morgan. "When Carlo tried to jump out of the airplane I nearly went with him. Letting go was a temptation." In Jacob's lap was a silver vase with two handles, |
