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Show -299 and shuddering, howling through the dark; thinking of Fancy gone I was full of despair, though I kept telling myself it was probably all for the best. Even now I associate the smell of ozone with that of grief; conversely in times of extreme sorrow I imagine that that hot sharp odor is lurking near. In the damp overheated intestinal tunnel under Manhattan I learned a lesson; it was a body-lesson, not understood at the time but only absorbed. Today I was finally to understand it, but I didn't know that yet. On Carlo's right sat Morgan; if I moved over until my head touched the window- I could see her face from the side; her eyes half-closed, she seemed to be concentrating deeply but I knew that she was simply frightened by Alice's speed and trying not to cry out. A fierce driver herself, Morgan was a nervous passenger and feared catastrophe at every turn. She couldn't bear to see the rushing road clearly, but she was unable not to look at all, I was pretty certain I loved her. And Fancy? I'd loved Fancy too. I could still make myself sad by thinking about her. When we stopped I took Carlo by the elbow and walked him away from the car. We entered the deep thicket of Sitka spruce; the trees were so tangled together that it was impossible to distinguish branches from trunks or tell which corkscrew bough sprang from what tree. The wood was impenetrable except for the one narrow path; the state park |