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Show •121 Adam didn't shout, and to my surprise he didn't lecture. I drew myself a bath and lay in ,the warm water, glad to be home. I was relieved that he hadn't made a scene, and somehow disappointed. How could he have known it was all a little joke on Jacob, and that I' d be back? Maybe he doesn't care, I thought; he hadn't cared much when my mother went away, so perhaps he wouldn't mind if I left too. When he came into the bathroom I pretended to be asleep but I watched him through barely-open eyes. He stepped over the pile of wet clothes and sat down. He scratched his beard and sneezed. He looked embarrassed. "Well," he said, "what do you think about what you did?" I pretended not to have heard him. "I understand why you jumped on that train, Buck." "No you don't," I said. I sat up in the tub but the room was cold and I let myself slide down again. Adam picked up my shirt and shook it out; flakes and curly bits of cedar fell on the bathroom floor. "You don't understand anything about me," I said. "That isn't so," he said. I closed my eyes again. He doesn't know, I told myself. Doesn't give a damn, either. I heard him move and opened my eyes; he was at the door, but when he saw me looking at him he came back. "In a way you're right, of course," he said. "Nobody really understands anybody else. Finally each of us is alone." |