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Show 117 feel shabby because it meant that they now took for granted that he would always break their hearts. She was still living with Andrea in the Village then and recovering from a painful affair that he was the antidote for. When Andrea moved out last fall and he moved in, he was conscious that a door had closed behind him, and that his hand was sticky on the knob, and that he had tacitly declared he was not going on a mission, and that he had become something his parents would want to keep his brother and sisters from knowing about as long as they lived. Sometimes he thought he might be able to convert Yvonne. He turned on his side and contemplated the blur of her warm back. The sheet had climbed down when she had groped out from under it with her arm a few minutes ago. He considered touching her on the back to see if she would move away but decided not to. If she did it would just depress him. He suspected a little guilt was a good thing because it meant you were considerate. He disliked people who had to prove their independence by walking all over their parents' feelings. That proved only their immaturity. It also suggested that they weren't entirely confident their parents were wrong. Lorin suspected that his parents were wrong, but it was pointless to argue with them, because their beliefs made them happy, and anyway when either of them got on the topic of religion you could hear doors slam shut inside their heads. He understood their beliefs and he knew they did not understand his. That meant the burden of responsibility for everybody's feelings fell to him. It pleased him to know that. He noticed he was starting to stir from looking at Yvonne's exposed back and turned over so that if she woke up she would know he was not interested. There were things he cherished in his Mormon background. His parents didn't have to think he'd turned his back on them. He cherished a |