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Show • 370 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF been but little used during the winter, and they were all fat and in high condition. I took three hundred and sixty warriors and went against the Cheyennes. We discovered a moving village of sixty lodges, charged on it, and bore away nine scalps, with considerable booty, without losing one drop of blood. Pine Leaf was in my party, and being so unfortunate as not to count one coo, she was greatly out of humor, and blamed me for depriving her of the opportunity of killing an enemy. The truth ·is, we had no time to favor her, as I was desirous to secure our booty and get off without endangering the loss of a man. Her young Black Foot prisoner had become quite a warrior; he went to war constantly, and bid fair to equal his captor in valor. He was already a match for an ordinary Sioux warrior, and took great pride in his sister Pine Leaf. All our war-parties returned without loss, and the nation resumed its customary good spirits. I then returned to the fort, where I rested all the summer. My thoughts had for a long time past reverted to home. Year after year had rolled away, and now that I had attained middle life, they seemed to pass me with accelerated pace, and the question would intrude upon my mind, What had I done? When I abandoned myself seriously to reflection, it seemed as if I had slumbered away the last twelve years. Others had accomplished the same toils as myself, and were now enjoying the fruits of their labor, and living in luxury and ease. But what had been 1ny career? and what advance had I made toward this desirable consummation? I had just visited the Indian territory to gratify a youthful thirst for adventure; I had narrowly escaped starv- • JAMES P. BECKWOUR'l'H. 371 ation in a service in which I had no interest; I had traversed the fastnesses of the far Rocky Mountains in summer heats and winter frosts ; I had encountered savage beasts and wild men, until my deliverance was a prevailing miracle. By the mere badinage of a fellow- trapper I had been adopted among the savages, and had conformed my superior habits to their ruthless and untutored ways; I had accompanied them in their mutual slaughters, and dyed my hand crimson with the blood of victims who had never injured me; I had distinguished myself in my barbarian seclusion, and had risen to supreme command in the nation I had devoted myself to. And what had I to show for so much wasted energy, and such a catalogue of ruthless deeds? I had been the means of saving many a fellow-creature's life. Did they still owe me gratitude? Possibly some few did, while others had forgotten my name. In good truth, when I sought the results of my prolonged .labors, I found I had simply wasted my time. I had bestowed years upon others, and only moments upon myself. However, I still lived, and there was yet time to take more heed unto my ways. I resolved to go home and see my friends, and deliver myself fi:om this present vagabond life. The attachments I had formed during my savage chieftainship still retained some hold upon my affections, and it was barely possible I might return to them, and end my days among my trusty braves. There at least was fidelity, and, when my soul should depart for the spirit land, their rude faith would prompt them to paint my bones, and treasure them until I should visit them from my ever-flowering hunting-ground, and demand them at their hands. |
