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Show Patty wanted to swing. Recess was over and she knew it was time to go in and "work. ' She came in quietly enough but for a small hint of trouble brewing, a missing piece of skin on her fingers. It had purposely not been noticed by one of my aides - an easy way to hand over the situation to the next person working with her. My lesson was next. She began her usual small tantrum - hitting; her^self, the wall, banging her head, screeching like a banshee, swinging her head in great arcs to threaten us,and throwing her hearing aid across the room. I placed her on the "time-out mat. It didn't need walls, because in unfamiliar territory she was afraid to move. She screamed long piercing arias, slammed her fist into the side of her head until it was raw, and finally used her grand finale, tearing a large chunk of skin from her nose and letting the blood gush out into her hand. I made a decision then. Since I was to play god, and since I was totally alone in this war, she would not get attention for it. All of her life these small self-mutilations had brought the desired results. In her drugged state, she seemed not to feel the pain at all. It was a way to get attention, to lead her companion away from the goal and stop whatever it was that she found undesirable to do. Suddenly, there would be kleenex and bandages, words of comfort, her nice little cotton restraint, and the comfortable safety of her sofa. And in the new school, her finale had always brought an end to any new threat that might expose her own amount of knowledge. There was the huge bandage, and the time-out mat and the shaking fear she could smell around her- And she would be left alone for a while, free to return to her fantasy world. The decision had now been made. I would no longer allow bandages or kleenex, or the soft sofa for rocking. She would not be left alone, but forced to complete every task that her tantrums had interrupted. I had only my own ignorance and a stubborn will to win Patty's communication prize. These were the days when my expectations for each child had soared -6- |