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Show 98 near the ovens, the enormity of what had happened struck me. That dog had eaten the bun I had baked, and now it was dead. One hundred and thirty-one children had eaten the buns, were they too dead? I shook with fright and guilt and groaned out loud. Gast had promised that the sweetmeats would not hurt the children, but why had I believed him? I wondered whether I should run away from Hamelin, starting out that very moment, but as Gast had said the Bishop's men would find me and drag me back to Hamelin, and if the children were dead they would hang me. No, hanging would be too good for me - they would cut me into quarters and roast me over a slow fire. My thoughts raced in an anguish of fear and self-reproach. Should I go to the river and tell Gast what had happened? No, he had lied to me and he had struck me. If I was going to be executed, I wanted him to suffer alongside me. Hilde! Hilde had eaten one of the buns! Was she even at that moment going into fits like the dog? I strained my ears listening for any sounds coming from behind the Meinersing door, but all was quiet. Maybe she was dead already. Maybe only animals took fits from the poisoned flour, while people died quietly. The dog had been so small, just a puppy. Its sufferings were so horrible, and I was to blame. But the sufferings of an animal didn't matter compared to the agony of children if they were poisoned by the buns I had made. I had known it was wrong, I didn't want to do it, but Gast made me. No, he didn't make me, I did it because I wanted to go away with him and if I refused to obey him he wouldn't take me. |