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Show 99 "Nice spring nights turn rapists to dioughts of love too," he said, lightly/ amused. "Tell you what I'll do. I'll order you special delivery another night just like this one. From Hollywood. All silvery moonlight and no dark shadows. OK?" She glared at him with hatred. "He was a Negro." "Huh?" "He was a Negro!" she said, pushing it. "Are you sure? Why didn't you-" "Would I say so if I wasn't? He was black." "All right!" He rubbed the beard stubble on his face. "Jesus Christ, and you clobbered him with An American Dilemma." "Yes, Jesus Christ. Peace on earth and good will toward men." "It's funny in a way." "Oh, hilarious. Too bad he didn't rape me-bash me with that stupid book and stuff it in my mouth and rape me-and then we could just die laughing. Boy, did I ever get taken in, the hot liberal, we're going to write a book and help them. Big deal. Just what makes you mink you and your sociology crap can do a god damned thing about anything?" He shrugged, offended. "There's no guarantee, of course, but-" "That's what I mean." And again the world skidded, shook with her life collapsing. "That black bastard!" He reached carefully for a cigarette. "You don't think his being a Negro had anything to do with it?" She looked defiantly into her drink. "I did, yes." "Well, with that cotton-field past of yours. And with every white woman in this country thinking she's sexual dynamite for Negroes. Christ, Jess, you couldn't help it." "So I'm finding out." "Well, what did you expect?" "More!" she nearly shouted. "Why me anyhow? I've always been on his side. I left home, my home and family, I've picketed and Jtgued and fought, I'v? been abused, cursed, spit on-and all for Mm!" "So? Maybe he should have asked you first?" "Stop your damned clowning!" Again he shrugged. "I'm part clown, honey; all men are." "No," she moaned, but knew it was true, that her heroic abstraction dilemma 173 |