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Show Motherlunge a novel 208 "I wanted you back," I said, and as I heard the words I felt an awful thrill, like seeing blood blooming from a new cut. "I missed you," I said, bloodthirsty and dismayed. "I love you." We walked some more and I couldn't bear to look at him. Systolic pressure dropping, I covered his hand on my shoulder with my own hand. "Are you still mad at me?" "Yeah," he said. He pointed to a bench at a bus stop and we sat down. With my backpack still on, I could only fit half my butt on the seat until Eli grabbed the straps and pulled my pack off. He put it on the ground between his sneakers and pulled me close to him. He rested his chin on top of my head. "I'm still pissed that you lied about the birth control thing." His voice buzzed through the bones of my skull. "But?" I prompted, keeping my head still. "But I missed you." I gazed at a flattened drink cup in the curb in front of us, marveling at its beauty. Its waxy side caught the light from the streetlamp and held it up generously, variably like luminous cells under a microscope, turning and dividing. "And?" I asked. "Look. I've been to art school, community college, and a welder's training course. I've been in two rock bands; I've held about twenty shitty jobs. I'm shooting photos for some reason, but I'll never make any money at it. And...1 don't know." |