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Show Nocturne/ 10 Of course, death was part of the job. It usually did not disturb the nurses when it happened. Yet, the reasons they told themselves it was ok to witness so much death were fabrications, merely stories. If they cried it was as they left the parking lot, waiting for people to cross the street or for the light to turn. Sometimes they cried when they opened their kitchen doors at eight-thirty in the morning because while their children slept they had seen death. And when they saw death, they looked like death with their bloodshot eyes and dilated pupils- and they probably smelled like death, if they could remember what they smelled like beneath the scented lotions they layered in an atmosphere that banned perfume for fear of allergic reactions. They removed their scrubs and slept until the next shift, covering their daytime windows. The first night Carolyn was assigned to Mark Grover, she didn't want to take him. She took care of him the same way she took care of other patients. She did not find him particularly annoying, but he did not inspire her either. After working with him for a few nights, she did not see anything wrong with keeping her wager as it was. No one told her she had to change her bet, so she didn't bother. Of the forty patients on the floor, Mark Grover was among those who lingered closest to death. The man could not leave his bed and spent most of his days entirely asleep. He had become very small. Sometimes it pained Carolyn to see him open his swollen eyes. She did not want to talk to him, in case she ever had to remember the sound of his voice. Every night Carolyn came in and read his chart, watching for signs of a pay off. |