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Show ing t h i s , did he? No way of realizing that he wouLd stray from the singLe section of Land he had come prepared for. when i Left i said to mother i am going north oh north she said yes i said is that a l l she said just north don't you think you need to know more than that more than north no i said L am going north He Looks at the map again, at the twisting Line of blue. The realization comes to him slowly, in pieces. I t is t h i s : although he can be reasonably sure he stands somewhere on the map that he hoLds in front of him, he has no way of knowing which way on the river is upstream and which way downstream. The river is f l a t , and wide, and yawing, and even with his compass there are numerous places where north could be downstream and just as many places where i t couLd be upstream,, He stands on the frozen river, patterned with myriad swirLs of snow curling around him and is at a Loss as to how to find his direction. He thinks,"the river must be fLowing beneath me, unLess i t is frozen dear through to the rocks and sand on i t s floor. But if that is the case then there wouldn't be a river at aLL since a river is onLy movement. Either then, there is movement beneath me and I need to find my way through to i t , or there is no movemenb and I have been fooling myseLf aLL along bhinking bhab I couLd ever find my tent since i t was Lost to me from the moment I Left the sight of i ts orange reflecting, storm,or- no stoEm0" He Looks inbo bhe sbraining sky fuLL of snow, bhen back bo his map. The map and sky seem bo ref Lecb biny twinklings of Lighb. He feels a sense of frusbra-bion bhab is nob born of panic. "This map," he bhinks, "grinded, Locked inbo obher maps., pabberned... frozen, bhe Land, sbifled and sbif Ling. Where in bhe midsb of aLL this am I ? " He foLds the map, then hesibates, and suddenly, aban-donedly, throws i t up into the storm. The edge of i t catches the wind Like a paper bird. "There," he thinks. "I have admitted something. Something more than the not-finding of my tent." father gave me the knife in the summer then he went away in the faLL he went away after he took me to his father's in the north where the ice froze on the |