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Show An Up-To-Date Conglomerate The summer now does dissipate The winter's frigid glacial state. Within the iron campus gate The stewing students mediate, The radiators radiate, Professors almost suffocate, And still this zone is temperate! And there are things that indicate The student's fear to contemplate The grades upon his Latin slate, Because this study obstinate It seems he cannot subjugate. Although he can discriminate The subject from the predicate, 'Tis past his power to conjugate. His teacher, too, is obdurate, And even dared to intimate That he might never graduate! Wherefore, with cunning consummate, He started to deliberate On how he might conciliate A personage so indurate. While thus in silence sad he sate Upon an empty shipping crate, He heard the banging of a gate. 'Twas but a passing reprobate, And yet, although so separate And far removed from high estate, These words he did enunciate: "Oh, have a heart! Be up to date! Your idle dreams fast dissipate! Just do your bit and do not wait, No matter what may be your fate. And thus it may eventuate, E'en tho you have to lucubrate, That you shall reach Saint Peter's gate And easily substantiate Your claims unto a blissful state." At once the words did animate The student on the shipping crate, And quickly seemed to stimulate For books a thirst insatiate. The way he worked was desperate. No longer did he hesitate When called upon to conjugate, And when 'twas time to graduate His marks were such as would elate A Latin "prof" in any state. And ere he left to celebrate His triumph, at a special fete, All gathered to congratulate The latest Utah graduate. L' Envoi I always hate to perpetrate Such stuff as this on a schoolmate, Because I always calculate That I shall meet him soon or late, And then he may retaliate. But 'tis no time to hesitate For janitors now close the gate; Professors all absquatulate And leave us to vacation's fate. King Blanchard, lord of Gamma's fate, And Wixcey, Earl of Mirthful Fete, Since you have asked me to donate, Herewith I offer you this bait, And trust you won't procrastinate But take it now, or ever wait. -Hugh Drennen. Page Two Hundred Twenty-six |