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Show 94 The FALSE FRIEND. D o n John. Either, Sirrah, I pafi for * very great Blockhead with you, or you are pleas d to reckon much upon m y Patience. . . Z*J>. Your Patience, Sir, indeed is great ; I feel at this time forty Proofs on't upon m y Shoulders ; But re-ally, Sir, I wou'd advife you t o - D o n 3 W » . Again 1 I can bear thee no longer. Here, Pen and Ink, I'll give thee thy Difcharge. Did I take youforaValet, or aPrivy-Counfellor, Sir ? £<>/> 'Tis confefs'd, Sir, you took m e but for humble Employment; but m y Intention was agreeably to fa. prize you with fome fuperiour Gifts of Nature, to your faithful Slave. I profefs, m y noble Mafter, a moft per. fed Knowledge of M e n and Manners. Yours, gracious Sir (with alUefpeft I fpeak it) are not irreprehenfible, And I'm afraid in time, Sir, I a m indeed, they'll riggle you into fome ill-favour'd Affair, whence with all my Underftanding 1 fhall be puzzled to bring you off. D o n John. Very well, Sir. Lop. And therefore, Sir, it is, that I (poor £ 0 ^ 1 X a m ) fometimes take leave to moralize. D o n John. Go, go, moralize in the Market-Place; I'm quite worn out. Once more, march. Lop. Is the Sentence definitive ? D o n John. Pofitive. Lop. Then pray let us come to account, and feewkt Wages are due. D o n John. Wages \ Refund what you have had, you Rafcal you, for the plague you have given me. Lop. Nay, if 1 muft lofe m y Money, then let tf claim another Right * Lofers have leave to foe* Therefore advance m y Tongue, and fay thy Pleaiure tell this Mafter of mine, he Ihou'd die with fhanreatf Life he leads: fo much unworthy of a M a n of Honour; Tell him . D o n John. I'll hear no more. Lop. You fhall indeed, Sir. D o n John. Here, take thy Money, and be gone. Lop. Counters all •, adieu you glittering Spangles the World ; farewel ye Tempters of the Great; me. Tell h i m - - W* FALSE F*IEKD, 95 Von John. Stay. ' •> old Women and ChildrJJ all" d0'wn. '' "* Von John. Very well. Lop. It is indeed, Sir, and fo are the Stories you tell them to bring them to your matters. The Handfome flies all Divinity to be fure; the Ugly, (he's fo agreea-' ble, were it not for her Virtue, ftie'd be over-rim with Lovers ; the light airy Flipflap, fhe kills him with he* Motions ; the dull heavy-tail'd Maukin melts him down with her Modefty ; the fcragged lean pale Face has a Shape for Deftruftion ; the fat over-grown Sow has an Air of Importance; the tall aukwaid Trapes with her Majefty wounds ; the little fhort Trundle-tail fhoots a Je-ne-ffay-quoy : In a word,they have all fomething for him and he has fomething for them all. Don John. And thus, you Fool, by a general At-tack, I keep m y Heart m y o w n ; lie with them that like me, and care not fix Pence for them that don't. Lop. Well faid, well faid, a very pretty Amufement truly! But pray, Sir, by your leave (Ceremony afide} fince you are pleas'd to clear up into Convention, what mighty matters do you exped from boarding a W o m an you know is already Heart and Soul engag'd to another ? ° ° Don John. W h y I expeft her Heart and Soul fhou'd difingage in a Week. If you live a little longer with me, Sirrah, you'll k n o w how to inftrud your next Mafter to the purpofe : And therefore that I may charitably equip you for a new Service, n o w I'm turning you out of my own, I'll let you know, that when a W o m a n loves a Man beft, (he's in the moft hopeful way of betraying him ; for Love, like Fortune, turns upon a Wheel, and is very much given to rifing and falling. Lop. Like enough: But as much upon the Weathercock as the Ladies are, there are fome the Wind muft Wow hard to fetch th^m about; W h e n fuch a fturdy Huf^ |
