Memory now creating a short film

Memory Now is a short sci-fi film about a young Asian-American woman, Naomi, and her determination to learn more about the earliest part of her life, before she was adopted. However, as she attempts to delve into her memories, she comes into conflict with her adoptive mother and must decide whether it's truly worth it. This film in part due to my own experience of being an international adoptee. I often wonder about my birth parents and the circumstances around why they had to give me up. If given the chance, would I want to know? And if so, how could this desire affect my relationship with my adoptive family? This thesis will detail the filmmaking process from an initial idea, through production, and to its culmination as a final product.

ABSTRACT Memory Now is a short sci-fi film about a young Asian-American woman, Naomi, and her determination to learn more about the earliest part of her life, before she was adopted. However, as she attempts to delve into her memories, she comes into conflict with her adoptiYH PRWKHU DQG PXVW GHFLGH ZKHWKHU LW¶V WUXO\ ZRUWK LW 7KLV ILOP H[SORUHV RQH¶V LGHQWLW\ DQG VSHFLILFDOO\ DGRSWLRQ , ZDV LQVSLUHG WR PDNH this film in part due to my own experience of being an international adoptee. I often wonder about my birth parents and the circumstances around why they had to give me up. If given the chance, would I want to know? And if so, how could this desire affect my relationship with my adoptive family? This thesis will detail the filmmaking process from an initial idea, through production, and to its culmination as a final product. ii TABLE OF CONTENTS ABSTRACT ii CONCEPT 1 PRE-PRODUCTION 3 PRODUCTION 6 POST-PRODUCTION 9 CONCLUSION 11 PRODUCTION MATERIALS 12 WORKS CITED 22 iii 1 CONCEPT , NQHZ , ZDQWHG P\ FDSVWRQH WR EH VRPHWKLQJ WKDW VSRNH WR PH SHUVRQDOO\ ,¶P especially grateful that I had the opportunity to see this come to fruition through such a visual medium. My time as a film student at the University of Utah has challenged me creatively and encouraged me to move beyond my comfort zone. As someone who wants to build a career in post-production and editing, this was my first time fully writing and directing my own production. In 2015, I took a heritage tour to the country of my birth, China. It was a wonderful two-week experience where I learned a lot about Chinese culture. While there, , ZDV DOVR DEOH WR YLVLW WKH RUSKDQDJH , JUHZ XS LQ DQG PHHW P\ IRVWHU PRP ,W¶V GLIILFXOW to describe the emotions I felt from that meeting ² nervousness, gratefulness, joy ² as well as an appreciation toward my adoptive parents, who have always been supportive of my heritage. This served as an inspiration for my film. I then had to develop it further into a story. ,¶YH UHDOL]HG WKDW , PD\ EH RQH RI WKH ³OXFNLHU´ RQHV LQ WHUPV RI KDYLQJ D IDPLO\ WKDW¶V RSHQ WR PH H[SORULQJ P\ KHULWDJH DV ZHOO DV EHLQJ UDLVHG LQ D UHODWLYHO\ GLYHUVH city, Seattle, for most of my life. My personal experience as an adoptee has been positive, EXW , NQRZ WKDW LVQ¶W WKH FDVH IRU HYHU\RQH 0DQ\ DGRSWHHV H[SHULHQFH D GLVFRQQHFW IURP their birth country, and while this is due to a combination of many factors, parents have the most influence. Research has shown that parents of transracial adoptees are more OLNHO\ WR HQFRXUDJH DVVLPLODWLRQ LQWR :KLWH FXOWXUH DQG KDYH D ³FRORU-EOLQG´ DSSURDFK WR their parenting (Reynolds et al. 88±100). This kind of environment doesn't give adoptees 2 a supportive space to explore their identity. Most parents aren't even aware of what they're doing either, or at least they don't go out of their way to promote their child's birth culture, which makes it all the more difficult. Ultimately, this became the conflict I explored through the film and my two main FKDUDFWHUV 1DRPL DQG 0LFKHOOH 1DRPL¶V DGRSWLYH PRWKHU 7KHUH DUH D ORW RI FRPSOH[ emotions that I knew would be hard to convey in a 7-minute short, but I hope that what I diG SURYLGH LV VDWLVI\LQJ DQG KHOSIXO IRU XQGHUVWDQGLQJ WKH DGRSWHH¶V H[SHULHQFH DQG feelings. With Michelle initiating the tension in their relationship, it makes it easy to sympathize with Naomi. By going to the memory clinic, she is giving back to herself the agency that Michelle denied her ² EXW DW WKH VDPH WLPH LW¶V EHKLQG KHU PRP¶V EDFN 0LFKHOOH LVQ¶W MXVW D PRP EHLQJ XQVXSSRUWLYH IRU QR UHDVRQ DV VKH KDV KHU RZQ IHDUV DQG LQVHFXULWLHV WKDW GULYH KHU DFWLRQV :KLOH WKLV GRHVQ¶W H[FXVH KHU \RX FDQ Dt least XQGHUVWDQG ZKHUH VKH¶V FRPLQJ IURP E\ WKH HQG RI WKH ILOP %RWK FKDUDFWHUV JR WKURXJK their own arc and their relationship grows stronger because of it. I hope my capstone, though dramatized, can shed light on some aspects of the DGRSWHH H[SHULHQFH ,W¶V D VXEMHFW WKDW GRHVQ¶W DSSHDU RIWHQ LQ SRSXODU PHGLD DQG ZKHQ LW GRHV LW¶V QRW ZLWKRXW LWV WURSHV , ZDQW P\ ILOP WR EH D JRRG SRUWUD\DO WR DXGLHQFHV ZKR watch it and be relatable not just to those who are adopted but to other people too. 3 PRE-PRODUCTION As a sci-fi film, Memory Now presented some unique challenges. From the start, I avoided leaning too far into looking futuristic ² one, because of my student budget and OLPLWDWLRQV DQG WZR EHFDXVH , ZDQWHG P\ ILOP WR EH JURXQGHG DQG EHOLHYDEOH ,¶YH IRXQG WKDW LW¶V PXFK HDVLHU WR UHlate to something that resembles what we see in life currently. While the device and memory scape helped make my film unique and add interest, it was still a small part of the overarching plot. Character relationships and aspects of adoption were the main themes I wanted to focus on. In a sense, this realism is similar to anthology television series such as The Twilight Zone (1959-1964) and Black Mirror (2011-present). Many episodes are set in a ZRUOG WKDW UHIOHFWV RXU RZQ \HW ZLWK VRPHWKLQJ WKDW¶V G\VWRSLDQ RU XQXVXDO LQ QDWXUH 7KHUH¶V D SODXVLELOLW\ WKDW PDNHV LW DOO PRUH LQWHUHVWLQJ WR ZDWFK $V VDLG E\ - 3 7HORWWH in Science Fiction Film, WKH JHQUH ³ W\SLFDOO\ VHHPV WR SURYLGH XV QRW VR PXFK ZLWK WKH VRUW RI µHVFDSH«¶ EXW UDWKHU ZLWK D PLUURU RI DQG DFFHVV WR RXU LQFUHDVLQJO\ Fomplex FXOWXUDO ODQGVFDSH´ 7KLV LV D VWUHQJWK RI VFL-fi and one of the reasons why I chose this direction. It gave me the freedom to make up concepts such as the memory clinic while still remaining personal and human. In fact, early drafts of my script had a darker twist where the procedure could actually cause memory loss if performed enough, but WKLV SORW SRLQW GLGQ¶W HQG XS ZRUNLQJ RXW These ideas were among many that I shared with the capstone class during preproduction. The bulk of fall semester was spent screenwriting, and I went through various iterations before settling on the script I filmed. Unlike the times where I've written scripts 4 for fun, I had to remember that I would be shooting this film and use what resources I had. As such, the workshops I participated in during class, where my script was read DORXG DQG GLVFXVVHG SURYHG H[WUHPHO\ XVHIXO LQ QDUURZLQJ GRZQ P\ ILOP¶V FRQFHSWV %y listening to the feedback from my peers and professor on what worked and could be improved, my script grew from what was originally just an idea to a script that was ready to be made into a short film. Finding actors was an extensive but exciting process. I went through many auditions and self-tapes before making my final decisions. Casting Naomi as AsianAmerican was especially important, not just to reflect diversity but as a key aspect in my script, DQG ,¶P JODG WKDW , ZDV DEOH WR ILQG DQ DFWUHVV, Augustina Tang, who could play that role. Though I never explicitly say where she's from, jade, the material of her necklace, is commonly associated with Chinese culture, and that choice was inspired by my own background. $V IRU 0LFKHOOH DQG WKH UROH RI 'U .HOOHU , ZDV ZRUULHG DW ILUVW WKDW LW¶G EH difficult to find adult actors for a student production. In an older draft of my script, 0LFKHOOH DFWXDOO\ GLGQ¶W H[LVW DW DOO DQG LQVWHDG , KDG DQ DGRSWLYH VLVWHU IRU 1DRPL but I scrapped this idea early on. The mother-daughter relationship in my film turned out to be easier to write and more relatable to both me and the audience, as there are always times when parents and children don't see eye to eye. Regardless, I was able to find good actors for these two roles ² Camille Granasen and Kru van Gessel, respectively ² and was glad that I made these decisions. Once I had decided on my actors, I talked with them individually to get to know them better and discuss the script. I also scheduled a rehearsal later in the process so my 5 actors could learn more about each other and rehearse the scenes in the film. In her book Directing Actors, Judith Weston says that UHKHDUVDO LV DOO DERXW WDNLQJ ULVNV ,W¶V D JUHDW RSSRUWXQLW\ WR WU\ RXW WKLQJV ZLWK QR FDPHUDV DURXQG DQG JLYH DFWRUV ³SHUPLVVLRQ WR IDLO´ (247). These meetings were invaluable for all of us and even helped inform some of my own decisions regarding their characters and how a scene was playing out. Having and directing actors was entirely new for me, but for a first experience, I had a wonderful time and enjoyed the collaborative process of seeing my characters come to life on screen. 6 PRODUCTION , FRXOGQ¶W KDYH DVNHG IRU D EHWWHU FUHZ WR PDNH WKLV ILOP with me. After completing a draft of the script that I was happy with, I began asking people from previous film classes, fellow students in the current capstone class, and mutual connections to be part of the crew. By the time the spring semester started, I had most of the positions locked in for my filming dates, February 16-18, 2024. Getting this figured out early definitely helped in the long run and allowed me to focus on other important logistics and creative decisions. To prepare for filming, I put a lot of attention on having a solid shot list, storyboard, camera maps, and any other production materials that my crew and I would be referring back to. I also wrote an analysis and beat sheet for every scene in my film to better understand the purpose behind them. Since such a limited amount of time is spent with characters in a short film, I had to be sure that every second mattered. My thesis advisor and professor of the capstone class, Alex Smith, was a great resource in helping me feel confident about my ideas and making sure that I had everything needed for a great production. I could not have created a successful film without these documents, or DV WKH FODVV FDOOHG WKHP ³WKH ILYH GLPHQVLRQV ´ Filming went smoothly overall. I had three locations for filming, about one for each day. For the memory scape, the Department of Film and Media Arts had a cyclorama that was available for these scenes. I¶ve never filmed extensively in the cyclorama before this production, so it was interesting to work with my team in it. Because it¶s a studio space, we also had greater control over the lighting, and most of the 7 scenes were lit with colors such as orange and pink. These warmer tones reflected Naomi¶s stance on the memory scape procedure for most of the film: though it¶s new to her, and she¶s nervous about what she¶ll find, she approaches the experiences with an open mind. My other two locations, the clinic and the house, required a bit more reaching out, but people were very accommodating, and I was able to find places I was happy with. While there were some shot adjustments the day of shooting, we stayed on schedule, and I got most of my desired coverage. The second day was the most challenging of the three since we were in the cyclorama, though we did a test shoot beforehand so we wouldn't be confused about filming in what was a new space for a lot of us. During these scenes, we also worked with a prop door, which was an idea that formed during script revisions. I originally envisioned that the door would be opaque glass. Unfortunately, filming limitations prevented me from having that specific material, but I was still able to find and use a similar prop that I was happy with. The concept of the door hiding memories behind it was both symbolic and literal in that it represented Naomi's iQWHUQDO FRQIOLFW UHODWHG WR PHPRULHV RI KHU ELUWK SDUHQWV 6KH ZDQWV WR ³XQORFN´ these memories, but her fears are holding her back from remembering. It's an obstacle that she must overcome. 6LQFH DOO P\ ORFDWLRQV ZHUH LQGRRUV ZH GLGQ¶W KDYH WR ZRUU\ DERXW WKH ZHDWKHU However, we did have scenes set during both day and night, which was achieved through lighting. The lighting remained subtle for the most part to provide the grounded and realistic atmosphere I wanted in my film. We took advantage of the natural light from windows and blocked out these same light sources when we transitioned to a night scene. 8 This made setup relatively easy and consistent across shots. Because I want the audience WR IRFXV RQ P\ DFWRU¶V SHUIRUPDQFHV UDWKHU WKDQ WKH OLJKWLQJ GRLQJ WKLV DV SUDFWLFDOO\ DV we could was a good choice. It also made the scenes that were bold in terms of lighting and color ² those in the memory scape ² stand out and enhance the dreamy, otherworldly feel. Along these same lines, the color palette and dressing of each scene was decided beforehand and then put into practice during filming. For the clinic, we went with much FRROHU WRQHV WR VXJJHVW D SURIHVVLRQDO WHFKQLFDO HQYLURQPHQW 7KH GHYLFH WKH GRFWRU¶V clothes, and the Memory Now logo are all either white or blue to make the space seem IXWXULVWLF DQG PRGHUQ 7KHUH¶V DQ LPPHGLDWH DVVRFLDWLRQ WR 'U .HOOHU DQG WKH PHPRU\ procedure when a scene is at the clinic, and you can trust that whatever the doctor says ZLOO EH VSRNHQ FOHDUO\ DQG ZLWKRXW HPEHOOLVKPHQW 2Q WKH RWKHU KDQG 1DRPL¶V URRP XVHV soft, pastel colors. This is a safe place for her, and the blues and pinks reflect that, adding D VHQVH RI FR]LQHVV DQG SHDFHIXOQHVV WKDW¶V LPSRUWDQW WR KDYH LQ D EHdroom. She even has flower string lights and a self-comfort book, and the bedroom is where she retreats to after the argument with her mom. These various production choices have been integral to establishing the world in which my characters live. Every creative decision further immerses people into the story, DQG ,¶P SURXG RI ZKDW P\ FUHZ DQG , DFFRPSOLVKHG 9 POST-PRODUCTION Editing is my favorite part of the filmmaking process. In post, all the footage captured during production finally comes together into a tangible product. Although films often go through a restructuring during this phase, because of extensive preparation throughout its production, my film remained pretty faithful to its original concept. I knew from the start that the pacing would be on the slower side. As a drama, WKHUH ZDVQ¶W PXFK GLDORJXH LQ WKH VFULSW UHO\LQJ LQVWHDG RQ VXEWH[W DQG WKH DFWRUV¶ performances. This made the moments where there were conversations even more LPSRUWDQW WR JHW ULJKW GXULQJ HGLWLQJ , IRFXVHG RQ P\ FKDUDFWHUV¶ UHDFWLRQV DQG DOORZHG scenes to play out, leaning into the amazing job my actors did. I put a lot of attention on Naomi as the main character so audiences could sympathize with her and be in tune to ZKDW VKH¶V IHHOLQJ LQWHUQDOO\ ZLWK PDQ\ RI WKH VKRWV UHPDLQLQJ RQ KHU HYHQ WKRXJK , FRXOG¶YH FXW DZD\ The memory scape turned out to be the hardest of my scenes to put together. I GLGQ¶W KDYH DV PDQ\ VKRW DQJOHV DV , LQLWLDOO\ WKRXJKW EXW , PDQDJHG WR DVVHPEOH ZKDW , could. Sound design, which at the time of writing this is still in the works, is what I think ZLOO UHDOO\ DGG GHSWK DQG ³VDYH´ WKHVH VFHQHV , SODQ WR OD\HU D ORZ GURQH DQG WKH PXUPXU of voices to give it an eerie quality and also want to add a baby noise. This sound effect would further connect to the idea that Naomi is navigating her memories and would act as foreshadowing to when she meets her birth mother in the final minutes of the film. As a scene that portrays the moment Naomi had to be given away as a child, it also takes on 10 a much more sober tone. I think that just including music will be powerful enough in conveying those emotions. As for special effects, there are some I hope to include in my film. I plan to duplicate the doors in the memory scape to add a sense of vastness, even though Naomi only approaches and interacts with a single, real door. Being a representation of Naomi's mind, it also shows that while there are all these doors with memories behind them, she's only interested in a specific one. The other major effect is the memory device. I hope to add a pulsing light that cues to when the disc is active, so when it turns red during the first visit, we immediately know something went wrong. Having this indicator would add character to the prop and lean the furthest into the sci-fi elements of the script. I wanted something that could DOPRVW EH D ³EHOLHYDEOH´ SLHFH RI WHFKQRORJ\ LQ WKH IXWXUH ZKLOH EHLQJ QR ELJJHU WKDQ WKH palm of someone's hand. Similar items already exist with medical patches that monitor people's glucose levels or hearts, as well as scans that capture brain activity ² though there's still some time to go until it'd reach what's portrayed in my film, if ever. By making these decisions on editing, sound design, music, and special effects, ,¶YH EHHQ DEOH WR LPSURYH P\ ILOP 7KLV VKRZV KRZ LPSRUWDQW DOO DVSHFWV RI ILOPPDNLQJ are and how each aspect needs careful attention. Yet post-production often seems to get overlooked due to its nature of being behind the camera, even if it can make or break a film. Knowing even a little about post-production makes you a better filmmaker and I know for certain that while I was directing this film, I was viewing it with an editor's brain. 11 CONCLUSION In the end, I hope my film will resonate with a variety of people. Even if people DUHQ¶W DGRSWHG WKH WKHPHV DUH XQLYHUVDO FRPPXQLFDWLRQ GLVFRYHU\ DQG PRVW importantly, the complexity of family. Naomi and Michelle might not be related biologically, but their relationship is just as multi-layered and loving, with the same sort of disagreements that every family experiences. The film finishes on a high note where things can only get better now that they understand one another better. I encourage those who do know about their family histories to be curious. Ask TXHVWLRQV OHDUQ WKH VWRULHV (YHU\RQH¶V IDPLO\ EDFNJURXQG LV XQLTXH DQG \RX¶UH VXUH WR ILQG VRPHWKLQJ \RX GRQ¶W NQRZ 6LPSO\ KDYLQJ WKDW DZDUHQHVV FDQ OHDG WR LQWHUHVWLQJ conversations and a greater recognition of those who came before you. As for myself, I will always have an appreciation of my heritage and where I FRPH IURP HYHQ WKRXJK WKHUH DUH GHWDLOV ,¶OO QHYHU NQRZ ,¶P VR JODG , ZDV DEOH WR YLVLW China and am thankful for all the friends and family I have right now. Creating this film has been a year-ORQJ MRXUQH\ DQG WR VHH LW FORVH WR FRPSOHWLRQ XVLQJ ZKDW ,¶YH OHDUQHG LQ my education and the support of those around me, is exciting. 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eynolds (Taewon Choi), J. D., Elimelech, N. T., Miller, S. P., Ingraham, M. E., Anton, % 0 %KDWWDFKDUMHH & ³,Q 7KHLU 2ZQ 9RLFHV ,GHQWLW\ DQG 5DFLDO 6RFLDOL]DWLRQ ([SHULHQFHV RI <RXQJ $GXOW &KLQHVH $GRSWHHV ´ Review of General Psychology, vol. 25, no. 3, 17 Oct. 2020, pp. 85±100, https://doi.org/10.1177/1089268020963597. 7HORWWH - 3 ³&RQFOXVLRQ $ 1RWH RQ %RXQGDULHV ´ Science Fiction Film. Cambridge University Press, 2001. 197±204. Print. Genres in American Cinema. :HVWRQ -XGLWK ³5HKHDUVDO ´ Directing Actors: Creating Memorable Performances for Film and Television. 25th Anniversary ed., Michael Wiese Productions, 2021. 247±317. Print. Name of Candidate: Lana Ballenot Date of Submission: April 26th, 2024