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Show THE MALEVOLENT SEVEN 6 divorce was made I realized I could not make any more major decisions until I had learned to live with that one. I had to face "the malevolent seven" and win. That takes time. My daughter also needed time to adjust to the divorce. Motherhood can be the seventh demon. Society assumes a divorced mother is a second rate mother. A divorced, working motner is worse. Divorced mothers have to overcome feelings of guilt. My ten-year old felt responsible for the divorce. "If I had been a boy., Daddy wouldn't have left us..." she cried herself to sleep at night. It was very difficult to give my child feelings of love, security, serenity, and optimism when I was a stalked victim with seven demons tearing at me. It seemed helpful to change as little as necessary in her life. Staying in the same home, going to the same school, belonging to the same scout troop greatly reduced the number of adjustments that she had to make immediately. I was open with her about our financial situation. She has her own checking account now. It is all hers even though my name is also printed on the checks and two signatures are required. The child support checks go into her account. She pays for her own school lunches, clothes, dentist bills, guitar lessons, scout activities, movies, toys, recreation, etc. She brushes her teeth more often and practices her guitar regularly. She doesn't lose her lunch tickets and she walks around large mud puddles instead of through them. She can reconcile her checkbook and her math skills are improving. It has been six months since that night of nights. I've bought a car, paid off the boat and paid off all the charge accounts. I can't begin to measure all the things I've learned or all the tears I've cried. In the evenings now I can sit in the chair by the fire, sip hot coffee and relish the quiet. I am alone, not lonely, and it feels good. The demons are becoming house pets. Sometimes they lie by my chair and keep my feet warm. |