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Show grow on a cactus, but the lotus flower was a symbol I identified with Blake. First because of the tattoo; also because when he and his mom lived in Orem, they used to have a glass, pink lotus flower in the front window that I used as a landmark before I became used to his house, which was roughly the same shape and color as the neighboring houses on both sides. For its color and size, the lotus flower was also the most prominent, eye-grabbing part of Blake's sleeve, and possibly his whole body. I picked up the maroon L encyclopedia from 197.5 that I picked up at a garage sale for a dollar off my shelf and brought it into the dry bathtub with me. The encyclopedia said that lotus flowers grow in water-their roots are planted in the soil of a pond or river bottom, while the leaves float on top of the surface. The leaves are brightly colored. The brightness of the flower combined with its aquatic life seemed unlike any landscape I had ever known, and I.was interested that where I would likely have a cactus or a cliff tattoo, Blake-every bit the Utahn I was minus a one year stint in Vegas and another in Denver-went for the lotus flower. I remembered reading a description of Sri Lanka as the "Lotus-eyed one" somewhere and wondered if the tattoo had something to do with Blake's Hare Krishna days. Even though Blake was very self-righteous during that time of his life, and even though he would later say Krishna was "just as fucked up as Mormonism in some respects," he lived at the Krishna temple in Spanish Fork for two straight summers and I admired that about him. I got out of the bathtub and called Blake's mom. I called every couple of days, supposedly to see how she was doing, but mostly because I wanted to hear her voice, to talk to someone whose mourning ran all the way through her bloodstream, hair and bones. As the phone rang, I thought I would ask what she knew about the lotus flower, symbolically or otherwise, but thought better of it when I heard her slow voice on the phone. "Hi Laura, it's Michael." |