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Show Blue Run/16 set it up on the cracked fireplace mantle and burned some, so the house smelled like home Surely it was a good sign, Christmas, my baby coming on Christmas. The cedar smell made me think of my daddy, how I wished he'd walk in the front door, just come on in singing "I'm Ding-Dong- Daddy from Dumas" and knocking pipe fire out on his wooden leg, a little pipe-circle on the flesh-colored paint. I was homesick when the pains hit, Christmas Day in Arizona. I wrote dear mama, the baby's coming now, it could be worse, we could be in Las Vegas with a roomful of those little growling dogs, vi could be there with her sock merry Christmas i love you with all of my heart, your daughter. Josephine My water broke in the driver's seat of Dee's Buick, right out in the hospital parking lot. I leaked down the long concrete sidewalk under that gigantic sky, sweating and dizzy. The long concrete sidewalk to EMERGENCY. And I remember the water mixed with blood leaking down my leg and somebody helping me when the real pain hit, and being embarrassed at being seen like that. The big doors swung open and shut and then time just kind of stopped, froze, just like now. Not being entirely conscious has its benefits. I can see that day so clearly Dee says they called in a pot-bellied preacher who kept saying Time? I awoke to carolers singing silent night, holy night, all is calm, all is quiet, then that hilarious round von virgin part. For all my life, I've never understood the round von virgin part~a man wrote that, surely to god. Dee was holding both my hands, her sweet gardenia smell. She kept saying, "It's okay baby, it's okay baby," and crying a little, and it dawned on me that I was her baby. Sleep in heavenly peace somebody's voice sang and Dee said, "Baby, it's okay," and I got this bad feeling that my baby'd died, so I started screaming no! from some deep down place I forgotten about. That's when I felt the stitches rip, just open up, so it felt like I was pouring out |