Oral history interview of Quynh Pham, conducted by Sui Hlawn (trascript)

Quynh Pham talks about her college experiences during her freshman year at the University of Utah and her life before and during the COVID pandemic.

Sui - My name is Sui Hlawn interviewing Quynh Pham, on March the ninth, 2021 for the Marriott libraries. COVID 19 project. Okay. Let's start with some basic questions. Um, can you tell me a little background information about yourself and, um, Quynh - yeah. Sui - Where you grow up and your age? Quynh - Of course. So my name is Quynh Pham I was born in Vietnam and I moved here when I was eight years old to Utah was Valley and I am currently attending the university of Utah as a freshmen. I am still an undeclared major and that's some information's wrong. Sui - Okay. Um, with the pandemic going on, how has that been for you? Quynh - Um, it was very different because Sui - when COVID started, how did you react to it? Quynh - Oh, I was surprised because I think most schools did this, but they told us that it was going to be like only like a short period of time with the hope that we will go back to school. It was kind of sad because we actually didn't. And so yeah, a lot of like schedules and like events. That we're supposed to take place got canceled. So I was add in the beginning and then I got used to it, but it's, I would say it's really hard as well to maintain like your relationship with like friends and other people through just social medias, because a lot of people actually don't have those and they. Yeah. So it's a hard way to maintain relationships during COVID. Sui - Yeah. And so with that, when you entered college or COVID was still going on when you were in the process of, uh, starting college. So in that beginning, how and what was it like? Quynh - That was, was actually, it was a very hard time for me because I like during the process of FAFSA and like student loans, I had to like submit a lot of paper work. But during the fact that COVID was happening, so the office was closed. So I had to do it online, but I didn't have enough like resources or ways to know how to do it. And then going to campus with the office opening, that would have been so much easier, but I had to do it online. And there was just certain days where the office would open, that didn't fit into my schedule. So I had to make time for it. Oh, it was like very, yeah, it wasn't very hard. It took me like more than like three months to actually get down the tuition loans and everything. But that's true. Sui - And so then with that, what were your expectations? Um, uh, college experience before COVID Quynh - my expectation was it's way far. Well, what reality is my experience was that all because I wanted to actually get involved in, um, Campus like on campus with like different clubs and organizations, but due to the fact of COVID, that didn't seem to happen. I wanted it to take class on campus and actually attend in person because it's just a way that I can fully give my attention to the lecture and professors. But, um, yeah. Obviously for reliability, it's only most of it is online school. And then for just a bit, we had camp on campus classes, but I wish it was one of my classes. So I think it was just hard just to go to campus for one class. So I decided to take all online classes. So I expected a lot of like being in like involvement on campus. Hanging out with a lot of people getting to meet new people in college, expanding my friend circle and everything, but that didn't work out. Sui - So then you went to. The campus or in person for some of your classes. So how was that? How was your campus life in that aspect? Quynh - Um, it was kind of nice. Uh, even though a lot of my classes was like a small number of people, but like in the beginning it was people who wanted to try out the class and then. They came for the class, like full, but after a while people decided to drop his class and then add another class. So the class was like small and then it was just, yeah, I expected it to be like a class full of people, like super crowded, but it was nice though being actually on campus and like, Uh, going around, even though campus is really big, just walking around campus, uh, seeing different classes, meeting new people, and then getting to talk, like getting to know some of my classmates at the time was, it was nice. It was actually really nice. Sui - That's good. Um, Then what have you taken any online classes since it's colored right now? And most colleges are all online these days. And so if you are taking online classes, how has those class been for you? Quynh - Um, I say, uh, my classes are actually manageable and they're, they're doable for me. Because, um, a lot of it doesn't mixture between zoom call and just fully online classes for me. So there's this fixed schedule for classes I have for zoom and then there's classes that is just fully online and then there's just set due dates already. And that's, it's kinda like, um, I would say. It's manageable, but at the same time, I don't find any motivation when staring at a screen for so long and doing like homework all on just one screen. Like I would want some like interaction between like people and then being able to have actual motivation to actually do my homework, because there's only like, I feel like this is literally just me doing the work. Like, obviously, like if it was your word, you do your work, but it's just, I have to go on to like, uh, a screen stare at it and learn everything just from a screen. Instead of being able to see in person hearing the lecture from the professor is not like in front of me. And so I lose focus a lot of the time, I guess. Quite a bit like distracted when it's only on my, uh, in my room trying to focus on study. And then I realize if it's a read lecture is like longer than probably 30 minutes or two an hour. I would lose focus because there's no like real interaction to keep me going. Sui - So with all of that going on, you have less motivation. So then what about, what is stress for you like and your mental health during COVID while attending your first year as a college student? Quynh - Um, I would say it's not stable. Um, I would say that it has, there was a big impact on like my mental health, because I don't feel like I'm even in like the time where I can even say, Oh, my talk is okay, because it's not, and it's just a pressure of like having to do every word on time and like set due dates. And that's just like school-wise too. And there's a lot of like personal, like experience and issues I have to go through outside of school. So that really didn't help with my mental health. So I'd say that. Yeah, my mental health is not good, but I am trying to find motivations to do. Schoolwork and go do you know life, but it has been a big impact with, along with COVID as well. I just feel like it's just me sitting in here with all this workload of school and then work. I have like a part-time job and then it's just workload from that and stress built up. And I can't really like. Discuss it with everyone, anyone to like really like understand situation. So, yeah, it's been a hard time, but I think, uh, after some time I'll probably be able to fix it on my skin. Sui - So then how has your daily routine been different with COVID? Do you have to wake up earlier? Do you sleep later? Has anything changed much or change the lot Quynh - um, I would say a I wouldn't say that it changed so much, but it's a schedule that I see myself doing regularly, like from the past and even in the future for now, because I did register for a class. Like my earliest class is eight 30. So the time I have to wake up is around eight 30 and along with a part-time job, I just work probably 25 to. Yeah, 20, 25 or 30 hours a week. So that was like, so there's like less time to even care about myself sometimes and taking time off for myself. And, but it's a, it's a normal step that I would expect myself to do in a school year. Like I was just wake up. I wouldn't say, I actually would say that eight is like a fair time to wake up. Cause I can't do anything more or yeah, before seven. So, but on a normal day would be like waking up from eight and then having class until three or four. And they have it in my part-time job until like nine. And that's all I do mostly for the week. And if I did get a day off and it's really school and then catching up with school, so. That was another reason why, why that's there's like no time in between where I can wear like, catcher up to face, like my mental health and stuff. Cause it's just happy. Sui - So then, because of that, do you feel like you are missing out on a normal experience or is it more special that you get a unique pandemic experience? Quynh - Um, I say it goes both ways because, um, Of course, we were going to miss out a lot because it's like spring going into summer. Yeah. We can't go out to hang out with all of her friends and meet people that like, after graduating, we were going to do like this, you know, party and everything yet we couldn't do that. So of course I'm going to feel like I'm missing out on a lot of life because all I'm really doing is staying in my house and then. Not going out so much to stop the spread, but at the same time, it is unique for us to be able to experiences and like the first class really ever to experience like COVID-19 and all of the pandemic and everything, but it is unfortunate that we are missing out on a lot of things. Like school-wise. Vacation relationship like everything. So yes, I would say that we are missing out more and so much of what we could have done just because of COVID. Sui - So you mentioned that you have there's restrictions to like building relationships and like being social with others because of COVID. Quynh - Um, are you able to build any relationship or social connections with other people or new connections or, um, how has that been? Um, Sui - for you. Quynh - I would say that new connection would be the most at my part-time job, because those are the people that I have met or last year, like last summer. And then I have built like new relationship with them because they're like coworkers that I've never known before. And so, uh, some coworkers are leaving, some are getting hired. So that's like a way for me to be able to meet new people through my work. Uh, but in school. I think it would have been better if it was in person, because I wouldn't see myself being in a class and be the one to create a group chat within, like, I dunno my a group. And then just be like, Hey guys, you guys want to have a study group? Like, I mean, we, uh, I don't see myself doing that. And then, uh, but it was, if it wasn't like. Class with probably talk each other, see each other in the hallway and then say hi or everything. But, uh, I actually was, I actually managed to be in UPC this year and I'm in the freshman ambassador board. And through that, actually I have met so many new people and I'm so. Grateful that actually went out of my comfort zone to join an organization. Uh, the university of Utah, because I have met so much people in there that I thought I would never know because I had online school and just restrictions from like social media and like just seeing people in real life and getting to hang out with them. But. Uh, do yeah. Do organizations and clubs. I met a lot of new people, so I wouldn't say that it's, it was hard on me or because I actually realized, like I made a lot of new connections with people that I've never known before. So there was like a lot of friendships where I've developed this year is despite covid Sui - so than that, any other school activities or, um, clubs or any organizations that you're involved in? Quynh - Um, I'm only involved in UPC at the moment and a only freshman ambassador board, but I am planning on still being involved in UPC and. Uh, I haven't really like put my finger down on what I really want to do when I say like being involved, but I still want to be involved in like an organization. I feel like there's a way to also keep me motivated for school outside of like all the schoolwork and everything. But other than that, uh, not, not really much organizations that. I am currently doing. Sui - Okay. Um, other than academics and schoolwork, what else has COVID done that impacted your life? Quynh - Um, I would say, um, COVID has like impacted a lot because I feel like, uh, I get worried more about like my parents. Because like, Oh, like I'm always worried about them, but like, it's just a fight that they have to go out there and like work and like the risks of getting COVID is high. And then it's just taking a cautious more, which is like good. But at the same time, it's scary to think about it. And I would say mostly it's like relationships that I had, like with people. And I wasn't like able to make, like, manage to maintain it throughout COVID because, uh, yeah, people, I would say that meeting up with people and then getting to hang out with them can keep the relationship going, but, um, really talking with them and calling with them sometimes they don't really. Like answering you. And that's why I'm feeling like a lot of my lasers are like faded in that way. Um, other than that, of course there's going to be school and yeah, mainly I would just say like relationships and it's just a lot of also a lot of like mental health and motivation because I can't really see. Myself being motivated surrounding a pandemic and having so much workload and stress about everything. So, yeah, I think it's just hard to maintain like motivation throughout this pendant. Sui - You mentioned a really being very lost and being lost, having no motivation. And so with that, do you ever look towards the future? So what are your plans after graduation or has it changed because of covid Quynh - um, yeah, I saw a very indecisive person with an undeclared major. So I am in the process of exploring like different majors and different, like. Careers at heart and seeing what I am actually like passionate about and what I want to do. So I haven't really looked into the future so much because I'm more worried about the present, like what I want to do. Yeah. If I was going to like register for classes for next months or, or for my, or for. For my junior and senior year. So I'm in the process of just exploring the different majors and careers. There are seeing what really interests me and if I'm interested in somewhere and if I have patterns or something, then I will probably stick with it and continuing for my future. Sui - Um, And then also what's that going on? Um, um, have you have any plans to like, to be successful and you're having a hard time because do you know any resources around campus that you think might help or any resources to, um, Well like mental health resources on your campus. Quynh - Oh, I D I wouldn't be able to put a hand on what the resource is like, but I think a trio, I would say has helped me a lot because of their advisors. And they have guided me to actually like, Go through classes like process of dropping or even registering for classes I would need. And it's just, even outside of that, like they're always open to listen to questions I would have even with mental health. So I worked, but I would love to like, Learn more about resources with mental health, because I feel like that's such a good like resource that like any school really, anyone can like have access to because like it can help really to a lot of people. Sui - Yeah. So then I have one last question for you. this interview so then what do you miss most about. Um, before I called it and then after COVID what do you plan on doing? Quynh - Um, honestly, I would say my high school experience because our class didn't really, um, we weren't able to finish our whole senior year. It was like, uh, seeing right now or are like full, like traditionally, like. Graduation. And so I feel like I miss out so much in my senior year. And like a lot of the time I experienced and was like really involved in high school, but there was like things that I said, Oh, I was going to save it for my senior year. I was going to do it, uh, in my senior year because why not? And with that mindset, I just saved a lot of things for my senior year, which. COVID happened. So I wasn't able to experience it fully, but after COVID I probably wouldn't be able to, like, we believe to know how fast COVID would be like if it ever would be okay to hang out. But I would really want to at least have like a reunion with. People that I've known before and then checking up on them and then probably hanging out. And I do plan on, uh, flying back to Vietnam and then, uh, for learning new year, I really want to have like a traditional celebration with the relatives that are still in Vietnam and hopefully covid gets better. So I'm able to travel. Outside and yup. Sui - Is there anything you like or dislike about online learning, Quynh - online learning? Um, I was saying I liked that a lot of the time, if it's like fully online, there are, uh, they, uh, the work would already be open so you can complete it on your own time. They're still going to be there like a due date, but there's still like you have all this time to complete it. And I don't like about online learning is because a lot of lectures are, can be long and I would just find myself getting lost and distracted somewhere else. And not really being able to take every information out of that lecture. And. Aye. Yup. I like when there's like online courses that actually has zoom calls, because it's a way to actually feel like you are, you are attending class you would like through a screen, but it's like a way that I can at moment, ask questions if I have any for the professors. And it's kind of like a reminder too, that, Oh, I have classes day. There's homework that I need to do for this class. So it's, uh, yeah, there are pros and cons, but I wouldn't say I hate all I'm learning so much. I was just saying I prefer in person class. Sui - Okay. Well thank you for taking the time for this interview. Quynh - Of course. Thank you.