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Show By Maddison Wagner On April 2nd, in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic, my first baby Ruby Ray was born at the Utah Valley Hospital. A month earlier, when I pictured what it would be like to give birth, I did not anticipate bringing a child into the world in the midst of a global pandemic. I expected to have my parents and in‐laws waiting right outside to meet their first grandchild right after she was born. I was looking forward to taking Ruby to meet her great grandparents, and to meet her two great‐great grandmas and get a five‐generation family photo with them. Instead, I had no visitors allowed in the hospital besides my husband, and I spent weeks filled with anxiety that hospital restrictions would tighten even further to not even allow him. Fortunately it didn't come to that, but i arranged to be induced at 39 weeks to prevent that rather than wait to go into labor naturally. I was blessed to have the most incredible nurses and doctor attending to me throughout the labor and recovery. Because of the virus, they all wore masks and eye shields in every interaction, not just during patient care. Beyond having to give birth during a pandemic, I also had unexpected complications in my labor, including nearly 40 hours of labor followed by hemorrhaging. Ruby was immediately whisked away to the NICU for monitoring due to a head injury sustained during birth. Fortunately we both made full recoveries and were discharged. From there, the virus continued to impact my brand‐new adventure in motherhood. I didn't realize how much i was relying on help from relatives and neighbors in the first few weeks that I couldn't get because of the virus. I was utterly exhausted. I began to develop the beginnings of postpartum depression from the lack of interaction with my loved ones and the stress of being a new parent. My husband is considered an "essential worker" as a pizza delivery driver and I constantly live in fear of him bringing home the virus to our little baby. Very shortly after Ruby was born, our lease in our apartment ended, and the condition for renewing our lease was having to pay nearly $300 per month more in rent. So we were forced to go through the stress of trying to find a new place to live in the midst of quarantine and social distancing, meaning in many cases we couldn't actually tour many prospective apartments. We finally did find a place and struggled to move with me still recovering from a traumatic childbirth and a colicky 4‐week old baby. I'm praying desperately all this will be over soon. I Will have to go to work again in the next few weeks and I am experiencing high anxiety over trying to figure out childcare and finances in the midst of the pandemic. I pray for the health of my family and especially the health of my baby. |
