| Description |
The purpose of this thesis is to describe the evolution of my MFA show, Reclaiming Motherhood: I Will Not Vanish. One of the primary themes of my show is shapeshifting: physically, emotionally, and mentally transitioning, changing form, becoming fluid, and finding resilience. The big question 1 had in my mind was, "What is motherhood and personhood and how have I made those my own?" I explore the disparities within the theology of my religious upbringing in the Mormon church, which taught me about a goddess figure who was nameless, faceless, and nearly completely absent, and whose absence I felt acutely. l turned to the women 1 came from, researching what life was like for females in my maternal genetic lineage, which is Celtic (Irish, Scottish, English and Welsh). My research, guided by Dr. Isabel Moreira, explored medieval documents and writings by historians, hagiographers, archaeologists, anthropologists, and osteoarcheologists. In this paper, I investigate similarities between my experience and the faint traces of these women, delving into the concept of symbolic annihilation as well as reclaiming tropes from Irish lore with a focus on the Mon-igan and the Dearg-a-daol beetle. l explore the trauma of my introduction to motherhood as I dealt with severely premature birth and discuss my creative dialogue with artists Wangechi Mutu, Njideka Akunyili Crosby, Judy Chicago, Miriam Schapiro, Shahzia Sikander, Kiki Smith and Takashi Murakami. With my work, I visually communicate my story through the lens of a fantastical world where a main character journeys towards self-awareness as she too shapeshifts, crosses thresholds, and transitions into her own sense of motherhood and personhood. Lines, circles, curves, roots, and anamorphic changing recur throughout. I use charcoal and paint on boards with a process of applying and erasing out the charcoal to represent erasure, creating layers that lend to an eerie, engaging, and alluring environment, as well as an emerging elf-portrait exploring a more honest engagement with motherhood. |
