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Show Moon -182 Esther stays up late with me after Ruth has gone to bed. We sit at the table sipping wine, which she has served with great ceremony, saying, "Ruth would kill me if she knew I had wine in the house." "Tell me about my mother," I say. "She was never born." "Pardon me?" "She never came out. She never grubbed her way high enough to reach the sunlight. No one knew her." I had no idea Esther could think like this. What she is giving me is like a beautiful glass ball that will shatter if I don't do this exactly right. By recognizing my mother in one great arc of electricity, she has recognized me. And in recognizing me, my mother is free, if that makes any sense. I think of Lee in his seance, my mother floating to him out of the darkness unable to complete her journey home. Esther smiles and says, "Your mother did love you, you know." I can't speak because of the heat behind my eyes. The wrinkles between Esther's yellow cat eyes crinkle. She stands up abruptly. I smile and swipe at my eyes to show her it's over. "There's one thing I have to know," I say. "How, exactly, did Grandad die?" She stiffens, jerks her hand upward. For a moment I think she's going to hit me. I start to cringe, then stand up and face her, thinking the time is long past to be afraid of her. She squints at me as if I'm a target, then sighs, shrugs, and gathers up the water glasses that contain the dregs of our wine, rinses them, puts them in the |